Its midday in Moscow and my head is slowly but surely moving closer and closer to the keyboard. It wasn’t such a bad night, Allegra slept well and after the 23:00 feed she slept until just before 05:00 this morning. I am just tired and the 2 months of little sleep with a newborn and before that, the last 4 months of a very uncomfortable pregnancy, is taking its toll. And then of course my internal clock is haywired. I am completely awake when my kiddies are sleeping and completely sleepy when they are awake. And as we all know it’s rather tough to try and make your 2 month old smile and jump around with your 2 year old when you can hardly pull a face muscle or lift your legs.
And to top this the clothes are still in the ironing room, un-ironed, the house needs vacuuming and the meat for tonight’s dinner is defrosting. Mentioning the meat, I have that out and no idea what to serve with it. Maybe we will have just that, meat, and I can use the excuse that the lifts were broken and I could not go to the Market for fresh produce. My mother-in-law will be landing on Saturday for two weeks and there is allot that needs doing before she walk through my front door. Nicky has his end-of-term play next week Saturday and a Disney costume needs to appear by then….need a little magic please Mr. Walt…send one of your fairies and I promise I will make sure my kiddies watch every Disney movie there was and is and will be.
But here I am complaining that I am sleepy and amazingly I get through each day and everything gets done. The washing, the ironing, the cleaning, the cooking and yes…I do get Allegra to smile and I do kick the ball and run around with Nicholas. I think at the end of the day, although I am tired, there is nothing that keeps me more awake than the feeling of contentment. And that is what I am, content, happy, calm and happy tired. I am not striving to be the CEO of the next big Oil Company and be tired because of the long hours in the office and the endless meetings and travelling that need to be done.
No, I am content, happy, calm and happy tired. I am doing what I love.
I am bringing up my kids, taking care of my husband and loving my life. And yes so I am tired and the Estee Lauder and Olay bottles are getting more and more in my bathroom cabinet for the black circles under my eyes and the coffee pot is permanently on the stove, but at the end of the day, I think, I choose to be tired. For it only takes one SMS per year that reads, “I love you” and Nicholas to put his small tiny hands on my face and say “You are beautiful” to wake me up. And then I am looking forward to endless housework, non-stop play and sleepless nights. I will sleep one day, but for now, the more tired I am, the more I know I enjoy my family. And hey, come to think of it, I do have my own business…I am running The Family Business.